WAKE THE F* UP, SIMBA! It’s my turn! You had your chance, at 4:00 a.m., to try to wake me up. Well, you succeeded. Today, and every day for the last month.
Hey you. Yes you. I’m pissed at you. So I’m gonna shove this camera phone right all up into your little fuzzy face. Are you pissed now too? Yup, you are.
Oh my god. Must you look at me like that?
They say that animals are forgiving. Abused animals will forgive their abusers. Or maybe animals just don’t hold grudges. (Except Elephants, which never forget). I guess I’m forgiving too. My cats are slowly trying to kill me, through sleep deprivation. Oh, the shame.
Technically, this has always been a problem. If the bedroom door is closed at night, they will destroy the carpet. So, I leave the bedroom door open. Which means I get the benefit of occasional cat snuggles, “sharing” my bed, 4:00 a.m. pouncing on my chest, cat fights, and flat out in-your-face begging for breakfast, the sounds of puking (which is actually good, it’s better to clean that up when it’s fresh – my favorite thing to do at 5:00 a.m.), the sounds of Tigger chewing on my dresser drawer knobs (I don’t get the appeal here. It’s totally annoying though.) and…
… this is the latest thing that is just killing me. I had to replace the packing tape that was “protecting” the seam of the carpet that they “ate” when my mom babysat and closed the bedroom door. This new tape, which is actually the same as the old tape, is apparently DELICIOUS.
So, to stop them from eating the new tape, which is loud, annoying, and also destructive to my apartment, which I will no doubt have to pay for whenever I move, I placed an old bathmat over it. NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Simba has decided he LOVES the new bathmat! He wants to claw at it constantly. (Maybe it smells like tape?) I can’t tell if he’s just trying to play with it, or move it aside to get to the tape/carpet underneith, or what, because I also find him lying on it, all the time.
To prevent him from dislogging the carpet and exposing said protective tape, I put 2 pairs of heavy dansko clogs on it. But then I realized that I’m probably going to ruin my shoes, when I spent an hour between 4:00-5:00 a.m. spraying the water bottle in the general direction of the door, from my fake-sleeping position.
So I threw a couple pairs of jeans over the shoes. (I’ve been trying to find a pair that fits, in my giant closet stack-o-jeans, and none do, so they were handy for this shoe-covering mat-covering tape-covering PILE that’s growing).
So now, there is still enough bathmat exposed for Simba to scratch, play, and nap on. I still am half awake sleeping with a water pistol in my clutches. Both cats are contributing equally to my torment.
I’m at a loss what to do, except to permanently attach some cover, like cardboard, to the whole area in front of the door, without using delicious smelling tape.
No way I’m closing that door at night though. And miss photo ops like this?
After I finally give up, and get up and feed them, we all go back to bed, and I try to sleep till about 7:00 a.m.
And then, throughout the day, I make it a point to wake them up whenever they look too comfortable, by blowing raspberries on their bellies.
Why forgive, when you can have payback?